I guess God decided last Saturday was my turn.. this could only happen a number of times in life. It was the RUM that betrayed me out of sense.I feel like my brain activity slowed down notches. Like a surfer dude who's board just crashed.

DUUUUUUUUUWWWWWDE. Haha. PEEEEAAAAYCE.

mades [ 11:39 AM ] 1 happy lost cabbages

Monday, November 15, 2004

breathtaking isn't it?

http://www.visitmaldives.com.mv/contents.htm

Can you imagine walking down that aisle saying I do? I didn't even KNOW this place existed.... who knew someone could manufacture a dream?

mades [ 10:12 PM ] 2 happy lost cabbages

Friday, November 12, 2004

It was such a sight.

Like a plethora of immaculate butterflies. I think I have the same dream every year. Where I would go out, look at the navy blue sky carpeting the atmosphere and see the little drops of clouds divide and fall. I've been glued to the news all week, watching the weather report religiously for some hints of flakes raining Beantown.

It always comes when you least expect it.

Which makes it an overwhelming surprise. I didn't have a hat on me, or a hood or any material that could come between my head and the sky. It came down like wet, white tears and through the busy day ahead of me, I couldn't help but stop.

The sky, beautiful blue was crying miniscule white petals. It wasn't winter wonderland. You have to sit still and wait for the white specks dashing the streets with wet rain. The leaves, red and wounded, softens the blow as it catches the wave of tears.

So this is what it's all about.

I couldn't help but smile. Parting ways with friends as I go home, I push the double doors open and stare at nature's wonder. One lands on my eyelash, and I blink it out til it blends within sweet nothingness.

One of many memorable firsts.

mades [ 6:30 PM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Has God given me enough time to fullfill my dreams? Seriously, the impulse of changing my major to dance is TEMPTING. Considering Emerson's also an art/theatre school.

Or maybe I'll just move to LA.

I think I had too much chocolate for dinner.

Dang.

mades [ 10:40 PM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

Monday, November 08, 2004

There are just nights when you feel that the stars are with you, painting with lights accross the heavens in all it's majestic glory.

The cold is finally here. Like the hidden menace that it is, it creeps under your skin, subtlely grazing, clawing through the layers you've onioned yourself with. But citylights are hard to ignore, when they continually appear as you cross paths with the city sidewalks. The beauty of Boston is still within reach. And I'm fortunate enough to live in the middle of it.

Fall leaves dancing in your hair, blushing as the wind changes. It's the same pleasure of waking up to catch the sunset in the beach. It's not everyday I get to enjoy the wonders of nature in such close proximity and longer length period... rainbowed with the cosmopolitan lights.

I stepped off the T, after a satisfying dinner with the same amazed look I had when I first stepped of Kenmore Square to get a glimpse of the Fenway stadium.

Or Copley place.

Or Bora's sunset.

It made me want to do a litany of prayers for the blessing of the five senses. I feel, particularly, that my eyes are not worthy of such brilliance. Or maybe it's just the red wine kicking in?

On a Monday.

Yup. I still can't believe it.

mades [ 10:43 PM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

Friday, November 05, 2004

I didn't know what to say.. or do. Somehow, I was expecting it to happen, hoping that it wouldn't. If that made any sense at all.

One of my cousins back home just found out he got a girl pregnant. The girl, unfortunately, wasn't of significant importance to him. Call a spade, a spade. The fruit of a one night stand. He has a girlfriend, as far as I know. But she's probably the least of his worries. Within the span of one week, he probably received a million different sermons from different kinds of people... aunts, uncles, his parents, cousins. He's in Singapore right now.

If I were there, I would probably given him my two cents. I absolutely do not know how he'd go about it. He was ready to get married. I couldn't imagine what that would solve. Or how many complications would go with it.

I've known this guy since we were in diapers. He was a kuya in a sense, that he made sure I'd go home safe. He would constantly tease and make fun. The day I found out he started smoking, I'm like.. nyeaah, what's new? I met a few of his girlfriends, though none of them really earned their way as a permanent memory in my head. His whole family moved to Singapore almost two years ago, giving him a sort of liberty. Yeah, he lived with my uncle and aunt. But they have no permanent hold on him. Not the way parents do.

It's not really a big of a deal when you look at it. He was probably bored. In the prime of his life, here was an attractive girl... the question in his head wasn't why. It was WHY NOT. They probably just didn't think of the consequences that went along with it.

MALAS. As most would put it.

It doesn't help that the girl's gone haywire and wanted him to go to her parent's house the next morning to get their blessing on the marriage she was already planning.

Less than four days and the news already is accross the continent. The news must have everyone up the sky. When something like this happens in the family, all is affected. It's like an inborn domino effect.

I can't imagine something like this happening when my family's in another country.. having to make the phone call that's every parent's nightmare.. and having to endure all the disappointed looks on the faces of the people you love.

He's going through a lot. Nothing as real as this has happened before. If pain could be transferred I'd willingly carry some of his burden right now.

Face the consequences head on and hope for the best.

Such a cliche.

But with my mind numb from shock, I can't think of anything else.

mades [ 3:36 PM ] 2 happy lost cabbages

Monday, November 01, 2004

I am not worthy. Sorry, but this week has just been friggin AMAZING. I have to write it down to remind myself that it really happened. You know the feeling when your feet are friggin aching and you just can't stop smiling and you feel that if you don't let your laugh out you'll feel the butterflies in your stomach carry you to the clouds? Or when you're in the clouds, looking down at the earth savoring the moment you're up there?

My week of natural high...the high of *kilig*, the goosebumps of witnessing a nation break a curse, the exquisite pain of having your feet betray you from too much dancing and the tearful realization that all this is happening because of the dude ABOVE.

WEDNESDAY:
there are no words..the surrealness that is the win that rocked the Red Sox Nation. Yes.. yes.. RED SOX NATION will never be the same. One could have cried. The triumphant glee in every Bostonian's face is nothing close to the meaning of TRUE. They have been waiting for this for 86 years. A curse has been broken and they're back where they belong. History was made and I was part of it. Hug a stranger, high five a local popo, dance in the street! I had to walk about 8 blocks..... in heels, but I didn't care! I'm in the middle of the hub of the universe.. I'm in the city of lights and glory. People will be talking about this for years.. and I could say I'm part of it.

How sweet is that?

As sweet as THURSDAY.. when I take the bus to Hartford Connecticut. Thursday is HIP HOP night in rain...okay..you know how it goes..dang my feet hurt so bad i swear it's cryin' but I had a grrrrrrreat night. Met a lotta interestin people...chillin with a cup mami @ 3 am.

Gettin ready for SALSA night in Acura..nothing prepared me for this. I still need to understand Spanish..da hell does "sweet manana mean?" the dude was cute...hay regrets! But who am I to complain?? Gawd..had so much fun.. get me a tupperware to contain my joy!

Haunted House...Mike Myers with the chain saw, Frankentstein with the freaky shoulder pads...rotating holes..wow! It was one big production. I don't think I've ever screamed that loud since... oh. Hehe. I take it back. Been a lotta reason to scream these days..red sox winning and all ;P

I just found out I'm too conservative to dance reggae..and that I have a lot to learn in the business of the bump and grind.

Oh well..there's always next time.

What else could seal my sweet weekend but with a tearful realization?

I am coming back to the house of worship
coz it's all about you, it's all about you Jesus.

I'm sorry for the things I've made it to be
but it's all about you, it's all about YOU.

Forget the sophos and the unending questions at the back of your head. Faith is not about questions, it's about feeling. I just realized last Sunday what the Catholic Church has been trying to embed in my head since my first communion. The right to life is a priviledge given by God. I cannot believe how selfishly I've lived it. And I cannot believe the life I'm living now is all due to the dude above.

the HAPPY SLEEPLESS NIGHTS of natural high seals itself with the return of the faith I lost a long time ago. I renew my faith here.

Without qualms of rituals.

I can sincerely say again...that my life is lived for the man above.

mades [ 9:43 PM ] 1 happy lost cabbages

pretty in pink from church 

mades [ 8:14 PM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

haunted house in halloween! 

mades [ 8:13 PM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

thursday night in RAIN 

mades [ 8:12 PM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

us girls with ferdinand for friday salsa!!!! 

mades [ 8:10 PM ] 0 happy lost cabbages