Sigh...
gotta love it.
non-permanence

my.school.in.beantown
my.multiply

Friday, February 24, 2006
in a media agency in new york city. pinch me now.


mades [ 8:40 AM ]
0 happy lost cabbages

Tuesday, February 07, 2006
I finally saw it. My movie. All those who know me tell me I am the queen of quotes... of movies. I remember things that are important to me in a heartbeat, most of it, always seem like unimportant details detained by my unconscious. Sometimes they are I admit, but I like that they stay in my memory. That it's something that I don't force to control. It somehow amuses me to think and realize that my mind has a personality of its own. Or maybe mine... too unbridled at times, somehow creeps into my subconscious.

Movies are elevated versions of reality. During one of the film classes in college, we learned all about it.... the technicality --- writing, lighting, cinematography, shots.... the nitty and the gritty. But in the end, it's all about making you forget about where you are and living that world made in front of you in the big screen. If you manage to forget where you are..... then it's a good movie.

Most of the time, I watch and I wish. Yes, I am carried away by emotion ---most of us are. But the characters are mostly people you get to know and get to care about. You meet them at the first fifteen minutes, and realize what they're all about in the last fifteen. That's the formula. And if you somehow forget that in the span of the two hours you're sitting there with your popcorn....then welcome to my world.

Dreams for an Insomniac. This movie is mine. People tell me I live in a dream world, that things happen, on my account and my terms because I get lucky. Or because I have people in my life who would tolerate my desires. In all other worlds, in all other places, I wouldn't have gotten away with the things I've gotten away from.

I really don't believe this is true. People, close friends even, often mistake my thoughts as basically just a different way of looking things. They praise me for it yes. It's a gift. My everyday life is an innocuous variety of unlikely, different thoughts.... most of it dreams ---half of it can probably come true. Honey, I believe it can all come true. I'm just working up the courage to make them all happen...one dream at a time.

We are afraid of dreams. For we see it happen everyday, and those who reach it... well. What ever happens next after 'happily ever after'? What else is there? But still.... we DO want things to happen. We DO want our wishes granted and granted quick. Irony sometimes is bittersweet.

Frankie, I understand you my dear. And though we come from opposite ends of slumber (you being a restless nocturnal and all).... this is a first in saying, that someone finally has put my thoughts as lines and brought them to life in a medium where many others can see them.

Sometimes, it's really not just dramatic poetry brouhaha.

"Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of my time. There are already many mediocre things in life, love shouldn't be one of them"

This line is what most people remember. And it is quite remarkable, but what I remember most is this:

"But I don't want other fish in the sea. I want THAT fish. David Shrader fish. I just don't want be 60 and happily married and suddenly realize I settled for number two."


mades [ 4:22 PM ]
1 happy lost cabbages