Sigh...
gotta love it.
non-permanence

my.school.in.beantown
my.multiply

Monday, May 08, 2006
Um, yeah, I don't know who said that. But wow. I've been bitching like mad at almost everyone it's hard to keep track. My parents are here and I love them to death for all they've done and are still doing for me but they also have the capacity to make me go stark raving MAD.

I've been bitching to a lot of people lately and they all say the same thing.... they just miss you, that's how they're expressing it. It's nothing spectacularly devastating really. But everyday it's the same thing, what are you doing, why do you keep the job when you have no future with it, when's your next interview, you know... you could use more exercise. Could you take us out to go shopping (for the thousandth time this week), why are you being grouchy. Let's walk, the subway's too dangerous.

After months and months of independence and facing this for the next two weeks I'm suddenly trapped in a vicious cycle of frustration, anger and sadness all thrown into one gigantic loop of negative emotion. Good as their intentions are, they somewhow just manage to bring the worst out of me.

This is so incredibly juvenile. I shouldn't be bitching about my parents. I'm 23 years old. I've done that in high school. And they're one of the coolest pair of parents one could have. I got off lucky actually. They allow me to go out. They allow me to pick my own major. They even financed my education until graduate school. When they're not around me, I miss them tons. And once they leave I'll be in a miserable pile of regret for spending this precious moments being mad at them.

I know I'm painting myself to be Ms. Queen Bitch but I just feel that everything that's wrong in my life at the moment (no matter how minor they are) is thrown at my face and I don't know how to deal with them altogether. I'm happier spending time with other people than spending time with them, which is bad. But who would want to spend time with people who criticize your life when they barely know anything about it?

Maybe I'm PMSing.

God, please let this pass.


mades [ 12:41 PM ]
1 happy lost cabbages