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Saturday, January 29, 2005

What Age Do You Act?

mades [ 8:58 PM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Only a few people may understand what's written beneath. Don't feel bad if you don't get it... it's an overblown analogy that created its own world.

A tribute to old times... :)

Of Love , Life and Lanes

By Nikki, Mades and Jess

Inspired by a 3 hour drive from Ateneo.....bahala kayo mag-interpret... but this is just all about lanes and roads. Hoy, bruhang conspirators! Paki-edit, dahil medyo sabog...

If there’s a thing every driver should know, it’s the rules of the open road. Moving through traffic has always been a problem for most drivers… usually because of other cars blocking their way… road blocks… police.. MMDA’s… jammed traffic lights… dark tunnels… light tunnels…. And of course… the thing that holds them all together… THE LANES.

Every driver always has to question which lane to take going to a particular destination…Some of your friends, for example, would want you take the Alabang lane, particularly because it’s been there practically as long as you can remember, is always open, and seems to always be there…. It’s a guaranteed fact that you’ll be well taken care of in the Alabang lane and the fact that your friends has a weird attachment to it maybe considered a nice bonus… but then, what your friends doesn’t seem to notice is that the Alabang lane, well… isn’t a lane at all… but a flyover.

Maybe the reason particular friends continually sermon particular drivers to take the Alabang lane is because of a biased attachment to it. Maybe it’s because they’ve already built a perfect little world in their weird little heads about you driving in that particular lane forever… which is a sad fact because the lane they keep on referring to isn’t a lane at all… but a flyover. Maybe the reason why crazy cars such as CUJO and a particular silver civic honda are confused is because the Alabang lane seems such a good flyover. It carries you through muds and floods and the skyway always leads you to it with a guarantee that you’ll get home safely… but a flyover… will never be a lane… as much as some would want them to be.

But then what’s the alternative? The Pasay lane? Friends have continually warned me about passing through Pasay. It has always been quite a dangerous road, with many other cars passing by. You may be lured to think that you’re the only one going through Pasay road, but there are tunnels and intersections open to other cars. Kung dadaan ka na at traffic pa, wag ka na magbayad… magnakaw ka nalang. No matter how many police and MMDA’s you place to patrol Pasay, there’s a certain thing that makes it think that road rules truly are meant to be broken….
But then, Pasay has this weird thing of showing up in strange moments. In months that you have not been passing there, you’d suddenly get a newsflash that Pasay, apparently has a new car passing by, which is weird because for each day you’ve been watching the news, Pasay has always been pretty dormant….

Isn’t it weird for Pasay to show up in the news to inform certain drivers that it has new cars passing by??? I guess some lanes really think too much of themselves…

But enough about things in the south, I think some cars wouldn’t be able to take another sermon about road rules. What’s up with the car in Subic lane??(<------si becky ito) It seems things are really going sMoooooth…. Iba na talaga kung maraming police at MMDA sa daan, kahit hindi naman nagrun ng red light ay bibigyan ka pa rin ng ticket. ("I didn't do it"---> yeah right) Well, it seems Subic lane is pretty much happy and contented with its light atmostphere and monkeys and tarsiers patrolling. Except for a certain rumor, that it once merged with one of its fellow lanes that was deconstructed and shifted to the States, certain cars are really in tune, kahit medyo cracked na yung headlights. Other cars better think twice, coz mahirap na sumingit pa sa Subic lane, hindi lang police at MMDA ang nakabantay, may metal chained cones pa.
But let’s face it, certain cars really would not forget about PAST lanes. Past lanes have a way of clinging in your head like an old barnacle… an old barnacle who has a hyper history and have weird impulses in genuflecting in the big gate in front of a huge crowd…. Somehow, this weird barnacle has become part of your instinct; you couldn’t do anything but just REACT a certain way everytime you literally pass by it. Of course, if we’re talking about a trip to Memory lane, one wouldn’t ALSO forget certain lanes that got shifted off the high school track a little too early. How could CUJO forget this lane? Smooth asphalt… hard strong…ahem…. Road infrastructure… nicely painted yellow lines…. It surely is a good looking lane... that it’s designated to many pet names such as BPP and DDG. Pinag-aagawan nga yung picture kahapon eh. Pano ba naman yan.
But let’s shift our conversation to a particular silver civic Honda, which, and I’m sure everyone will agree, has gone through many intersections and world glitches to last a lifetime. Some past lanes the driver passed through, have only revealed certain tunnels now, which, if you consider the time span, is a little too late. But you really have to admire how certain lanes keep their tunnels hidden, no matter how brightly you shine your headlights at it, some lanes really tend to have an extra secret closet to keep their dirty skeletons, ngayon nga lang lumalabas eh... tsk.. tsk...buti ilang taon na ang lumipas..

Other lanes of course, have tunnels that are there in full view. You could almost reach the other cars if you wanted to. It has also revealed glitches that could really have gotten certain cars broken, which is a sad thing for the lane started off really well, putting up billboards to entertain you in the highway and many other lane decorations to put up an enjoyable ride.
Well, certain lanes have gone international and seems to be making up for glitches in the past, which isn’t wrong and really wouldn’t hurt considering it gives off a high amount of toll fee, but certain drivers should still be careful… and of course, open it’s mind to other routes and possibilities… DMTG drivers, after all… deserve the ultimate best.

mades [ 3:02 PM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

You remember that scene in 10 things that I Hate About You where Cameron was whining:

"I learned FRENCH for you.."

and Bianca suddenly kisses him and he was stunned for like the 10 seconds it happened and you see the smile creeping into his face and he goes...

"and iiii'm back in the game!!"

Loved that.

I woke up this morning thinking of that exact same scene with a goofy smile on my face. I wonder what that meant. It's not everyday I wake up with a teen movie greeting me before breakfast. I've been here for little over two weeks and I have stories to tell that could last over dinner.

With all these happening, I can't help but chuckle and realize how much I missed good old Boston. Despite the cold.. (that creeps under your layers), the shopping, school.... you never know how much you missed the place until it lets you remember gradually why it's so special.
I have found such terrific friends. It's not everyday I get to learn something new. There's really something about growing up in another place. All my friends are as interested in learning about where I grew up as I'm interested in where they grew up basically. And even when you think the learning is over... it never stops.

It's delightful (haha! this word is soo English) that even if you're so different in the way you walk and talk.. how your personalities perfectly mash. That even if you're Taiwanese, Indian, Canadian, American or Romanian.. you're still the same little girly girl inside. Like an exotic mesh of Sex and the City.

The Menagerie of the Glam, I call them.

With a year left of misadventures... you can bet I'm all for the ride.

mades [ 10:35 AM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I don't think I have the capability to change the way I want to change. It's been almost 22 years and I still can't figure it out.

I remember that day in the middle of high school when I realized I didn't need to care about the majority's opinion. It was one of those defining revelations. Like the first time our maid revealed the true nature of sex when I was 11. I could literally see myself blink and feel the realization sink in. You know when it happens when you say what you're thinking out loud.

"Ohh.. so THAT'S why." or "Why do I care so much when I don't need to?"

Sometimes, I really need to remind myself of how simple it is. I just needed to remember. Values matter. I think I seem to be going back in terms of keeping it. It's not a matter of going to church and acting like a renowned saint. The truth sinks its teeth on you during unexpected moments. You don't need to conform to your surroundings accordingly to survive. If anything, it's totally okay for them to conform to yours.

Sometimes, it's so easy to get away with things that you just do it regardless of the consequences. People tell you it's okay, since most of the people do it anyway. But who would want to be in that situation anyway? Most people commit all sorts of inhibitions. I'm not sure I'd follow their lead just because I know won't get caught. I'm not sure I'd follow their lead just because most people do it anyway. I sound like an after school teenage soap opera but I don't care. It just baffles me how I forget when it's all so simple.

So, in honor of the growing cycle of life controlled by the higher up. I came to realize that I don't really need to make new resolutions. I just have to remember my values and follow them. Love begets love as karma begets karma.

1. I realized that I am afraid to die. So I'd be taking care of my liver this year. Less drinks!

2. I realized that I need to think more before I speak. God. You'd think it was so simple. I'd been trying to do this for years and I'm still so tactless.

3. Give more compliments. People love them. I know I do!

4. Laugh. Even if I do a lot of these the past year it's always healthier to do a lil more.

5. Get a coloring book. Art is always a good stress reliever.

6. Email family more often. Send out cards. Snail mail is always a happy surprise.

7. Take healthy risks. (Conquests are never healthy)

8. Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got. (I forgot who wrote this)

9. And most of all....

Don't disappoint. The only opinion one should care about is that of whom she/he loves.

mades [ 2:57 PM ] 3 happy lost cabbages

Monday, January 17, 2005

Life has never been so clear and so hazy. This year has been a major trip. All the little problems I was worried about seem so trivial. You know the feeling in high school where you feel the world is ending just coz (insert situation) you failed a quiz/someone fell from the pyramid causing mass hysteria to the routine for nationals/your crush might have an inkling about your feelings and might a.) start ignoring you b.) start being all arrogant (bastard) c.) actually does something about it (what to do??) ....

And you enter college and all these stuff seem soooo artificial you'd just want to crack your head in a pile of a eggs for being such a drama queen. Compared to the "real world", everything above seem so helplessly mundane and unimportant.

Of course, entering the work place, you really start to feel the "real world" hitting you like the door that slapped your ass when you walked out of your first interview. Nope. Cutting off the allowance pool ain't pretty. And you start saving up, be all "independent" and just when you're in the brink of settlement. Life throws you another one.

You're being shipped to another country. Live life alone. Budget. Time. Place. Everything is suddenly in your control. Man, you just wanna jump off the boogie board and dive off the friggin sunset. Until you learn that certain limits can't be pushed. Compared to the high seas of drama you went through in the past, you wallow the shallowness of it all. Who had the friggin time to worry about thesis? Or whether the posters would be delivered in time for the event?

With this cycle going on, you don't know what to think. Do the past seem trivial because it's done or does life really just start to build meaning as experiences happen? Do new experiences exist to belittle our past? Do all our drama in our past account for nothing?

It was weird how everything seems the same back home. It was more weird to feel that you're no longer in the same mind set as these people. They don't know how lucky they are, going home in houses where there are people waiting hand and foot for their every need. With rooms big enough for full queen beds, couches and a computer set. Free laundry. People have it good and yet they're still complaining. And they marvel at how you're doing it all while they're "stuck" back there.

In a way, they are stuck. But not in the same way they may think about. People have this premonition that living in another country has this glamorous swing to it. Truly everyday is an adventure. But it's not a daily drinkfest with parties and cocktails on the side.

Not just.

It's about responsibility. Rent. Grocery. Budget. Laundry. You always have to look ahead and be ahead to ensure your future. What happens after this? What are my options? Life kind of builds up on you. There's no routine anymore and the ball has stopped being passed around.

It's all now up to YOU.

I'm not going to say that everything in my past seem to be a wonderless pursuit of drama. At some point, I think those little innuendos helped me out today. Decisions are a hefty thing that shouldn't be taken lightly. I'm not sure how I'm doing with it right now. I may just stop comparing past experiences and stop looking for the "real world" to have time to live in it.

Trip toe tip toe and just keep on livin'

mades [ 2:41 AM ] 0 happy lost cabbages