Sigh...

gotta love it.

non-permanence

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Do you remember the days when movies end with trumpets blaring the celebration of its end? When words weren't of that much import as the plot and the sound that thickens it?

The world of chip and dale, pink panther cartoons. The world of La Vie En Rose.

For the life of me, I've never been more lost as to how life's gonna turn out. And my solace lies with the movies. Apathy can swallow you whole. If you don't care enough to do anything, you'll lay in a somber daze as the days pass. With carefully plotted storylines, you're given temporary cause for caring about something that makes sense. For the ending reveals itself after an hour or two. Others take longer but you're free to sleep peacefully knowing they all lived happily ever after.

I have done nothing but watch endless movies and reality tv for the past few days. And the guilt is burning my insides as procastination sinks in. I hate it when I don't want to do what I'm supposed to. Sorry for stating the blatantly obvious but my brain feels like a resemblance of dried oatmeal. Unappetizingly drawl.

If I were home right now, I'd be in town center watching a movie. Or sleeping in my canopy. Or bugging people endlessly. Or walking down the hot isle of bargains in ruins. Come to think of it, I have endless choices here. downtown is just two blocks away. my literal designer boulevard is just two stops from the steps of my swanky apt. and china town is just across the street!

I dunno. My motivation's flushed. I just wanna go to Jersey and bum or go to New York just to people watch. I can't face assignments that require creative juices flowing. It's hurting my brain. And pushing it further as I embrace procastination is killing my dear consience. I can't even spell it right. Just as well. I need my La Vie En Rose!

I need to drive George, with those kick ass cd's I just burned. Get my 6 dollar massage, which I have from the change of last night's dinner. And eat lechon paksiw without worrying bout the extra weight it might add to my figure.

I need my disney cd's and SNL marathons and watch them with my brother, who's laugh makes me appreciate it more. (coz he's just so darn easy to please). I wanna show Chevy, Kuya Paul and Kuya Alvin the comedy central cd I burned with the Russell Peter stint and bug Darwin and Daryl about the American Idol outcome results.

I wanna tease Brigitte for being too makikay and Foti for contemplating a perm. I wanna give Ate Issa her Gap perfume in person and make her jealous for going on the Sex and the City tour.

I want to share my world with my family and let them share theirs with me. I can't face responsibility right now. It's making my head hurt.

Independence has taken its toll.

Good thing I have cable.

mades [ 3:06 AM ] 1 happy lost cabbages