Sigh...

gotta love it.

non-permanence

Sunday, June 18, 2006

sunday mornings

I have the weirdest problems. I woke up today to see that the spray on tan I used to even out my tan lines from the beach two weeks ago...has managed to become light...leaving me with white spots in weird places. So now...I'm basically a human doodle.

Exfoliating profusely, of course just made it worse.

mades [ 9:22 AM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

I love how all my friends are special.

m: did you get the link?

leok: no, i wasn't able to check my messages.

m: awwwwwwwww. you were supposed to watch it!

leok: what was it my small friend?

m: the canadian indian comedian!

m: -->link<---

m: you HAVE to watch it.

m: wait.

m: what are you doing up at 4:30 am?

leok: if i told you i just came from a beauty pageant in a strip club would you believe me?

m: HAHAHAHAHAHA

m: yes

m: juz coz it's you

leok: what am i?

leok: (and your answer could affect the trajectory of our friendship for all eternity)

m: hahahahaha

m: leo k will always try anything at least once in his life

leok: pwede

m: or maybe

m: counter culture against sheep mentality front but deep inside cares dude. hahah does this affect the trajectory of our friendship for all eternity?

leok: [;[

m: what? is that a sad face?

leok: hahahaha no.

leok: i love you madesz!

m: hahahahaha

m: i heart you too! i love how all my friends are special.

leok: contestant $4 was the winner. she's 36-24-34...or something like that.

hahahah again, i love how all my friends are special.

And really.... they are. I'm just lucky I guess

mades [ 6:33 PM ] 2 happy lost cabbages

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Youngins today are such queens

I don't mean 'queen' as in gay people 'queen'. I mean queen in the absolute sense of word. They live in royalty and complain of the tiniest speck of imperfection.

And their complaints are sheer poetry.

I sometimes forget how adolescense (did I spell that right) can be so bittersweet -----full of non-real problems that feel like it's the end of the world. The "I don't want to leave my room ever" syndrome. The "I'm so busy, I'm so stressed syndrome". Everytime my younger cousins complain of college I just smile. Coz I know they ain't seen nothing yet.

It's just weird when your life is suddenly free of obligation. Who says you have to work 9 to 5? Who says you have to be something by this time or that time. Who says you have to earn that much at that age. After college, you suddenly feel the need to form new goals because your life suddenly lacks schedule.

It's refreshing hanging out with people doing their jobs for just the sake of earning money. Their real lives are their hobbies. The executive by day, drummer by night mentality is kind of baffling and strangely freeing. Those adolescents who never grew up.

Or maybe we're the sheep who's struggling all the while for nothing but empty satisfaction.

I heard someone on the subway. She said in her week's stay here in New York, she has but ONE goal.

And that is to kiss a complete stranger in the middle of Time Square at a time between 12 am - 4 am. The girl is somewhere between 16 to 18.

"And he HAS to be cute".

HAHHAHAHAHA.

Of course.

Oh let the lights blind you into thinking there are stars in your eyes.

Maybe I need easier, no-nonsense goals to fullfill.

Oh holy mother of all that floats.

mades [ 2:39 PM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

Everything has changed....

Yet nothing has changed. :)

mades [ 9:19 AM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

Friday, June 02, 2006

Been reading through this page. And it is one big mesh of complaints and angst. I'm such a drama queen. I'm really not miserable. Far from it actually. I guess I just like writing about bad days.

I love my life here. And I'm keeping it here for as long as I want. I want because I need. I NEED to be here. I NEED New York. I NEED the job here. It's not just convenience. It's love. I love my life here. Where the possibilities just stretch to the inevitable.

Where I can blink and see a race of different cultures.

Where I can walk everyday through blocks of traffic and still be amazed of its dirty beauty.

Where people are sometimes rude but also equally nice.

Where talented people greet you in song and drums and lullabies.

Where independence is easily given and the opportunities rarely scarce.

Where people are beautifully tolerant and sometimes horribly dense.

The balance which keeps New York standing tall.

It's cultured streets.

Dirty yet with character.

It's an organized, sophisticated slob.

I'm loving every minute that I'm here. :)

mades [ 8:30 AM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

So yesterday.... I had to wait for an hour for the jersey transit in humid, hot, rainy air. My cousin wouldn't pick me up so I was kind of pissed and didn't answer his calls. When I got off the bus it started to rain and I had to walk the whole 8 blocks home without an umbrella. (Hmmm.... please note that I'm already sick at this point).... come by the house I see that the car is there which means MY FRIGGIN COUSIN is still there and could have had the time to pick me up and go back but DIDN'T. I didn't want him to answer the door but come by... oh no. I found out I lost my friggin keys.

Where? Port Authority? Oh crap.

Scream like bloody murder.

Oh. But today's looking up. I found my keys! :)

mades [ 7:44 AM ] 0 happy lost cabbages

Thursday, June 01, 2006

There are pasts that I like looking back to. Seriously. The rawness of emotion brings about words like "losing my situational professional settlement bliss" and "denying our lapse of judgment and letting it evaporate to emulate a mature ending".

I must say I'm never a better poet than when raw emotion is guzzling through me like adrenaline within the veins of a cheerleader falling off a pyramid. Someday, I will post that entry within this public realm.... as of now, it's reserved for my personal enjoyment. Bwahaha boo.

Okay so a lot has happened. My status here is making my head go through bouts of paranoid emotion. I don't want to leave. My life now is here. Being here is what keeps me breathing and sane and makes me think that I'm not wasting oxygen.

But now I gotta work... so be back later for details.

mades [ 12:46 PM ] 0 happy lost cabbages